From the moment the airplane touched Thai soil, I decided no more of this moping around Asia with a heavy heart and a bag of sticky rice. It was as if the fasten seat belt light turned off and my new life turned on. It took a little over a week to get my India visa from the consulate in Chiang Mai so I made the most of it and immersed myself in every activity I could get my hands on. Money is going fast at this point and it will significantly cut my travel time, but you can't put a price on this stuff. Worst case scenario is that I will come home sooner than planned. My first activity was a cooking class on an organic farm. They grow all of the essential ingredients for Thai cooking on the premises-lemongrass, kefir lime, different types of basil, eggplant, bananas, etcetera. Not only was the food stimulating but I befriended three lawyers that graduated from Harvard. I had a blast with these guys even though the physics and political conversations were a bit rough on me.(epiphany# 72 There are LOTS of good guys out there) I also took a workshop with a silversmith named Nugoon and made a pendant since I needed something to replace the key I was wearing. I designed, cut, sanded, sawed, soldered, polished and hammered all of the negative forces out of my life. I walked in to loads of temples with saffron robed monks, had three massages for less than four dollars each, went to yoga, meditation, cruised around on the back of a motorbike for a day with one of my Harvard buddies, went to the movies to see Salt, saw a cultural Thai dance show with traditional northern Thai food, played with monkeys, petted tigers(that made me miss my sweet little Juneaux), and spent hours at the markets and night bazaar with my roommate from London, Natalie and her friend Heather from Oregon. We walked around checking out all the jewelry, clothes, paintings, carvings and eating as much streetfood as possible. Papaya salad, mango sticky rice, roti bread, curries, soups, fried fish and Thai tea all less than fifty cents each. I even went to a fish spa where you soak your feet in a fish tank and let dozens of fish eat the dead skin off your feet. That will be the first and last time for that. It was strangest feeling and not nearly as effective as a salt scrub. I get to eat pad Thai for breakfast, meet new people everyday, and stay in a beautiful guesthouse for about five dollars a day but my new enlightened life has not come without a price. I love Thai massage but it is quite an intense treatment. It is considered "yoga for lazy people" and is performed on the floor. The technique is designed to balance the meridians in the body using acupressure, stretching, pulling, kneading, kneeing, elbowing, arching, cracking, twisting and getting walked on. I was so relaxed and limber after the first one that I twisted my ankle on the curb as soon as I left the spa. So bad in fact, that I was in bed for the next two days keeping it raised and iced until the swelling went down. I thought for sure I would have to go to the hospital, I couldn't even wiggle my toes for the first day. I also got bit on the hand by a monkey, did guided meditation that is done with the eyes open while looking at a small white light that left me with nothing but nausea and a monk almost made me cry, but what would travel be without these things? I could literally write a blog this long for everyday if I took the time. I had lots of epiphanies between getting walked on and fish removing my cuticles. I am not angry with the person I though was my friend. I realized that this was not a manipulative, conniving act as I originally thought. It was an act of pure desperation. I pity this horny divorcee with a kid who is merely trying to make up for lost time.(epiphany#101 I always win in the end.When are people going to learn?)Being mentally deficient, her future is bleak, where mine is limitless. Now if you'll excuse me, there is a plate of panang curry calling my name.
Lately I am convinced that I am really good at enduring massive amounts of extreme anguish and sheer cruelty. Usually a talent like this is not sought after, and for good reason. More on this later. Hoi An will be in my top ten favorite places in the world for sure but it was time to move on, reason being that Ina and I could not stop buying dresses. We made a pact not to let each other shop for more tailored dresses but our addiction was stronger than our will. We decided to take a break from the beach and head for the mountains of Da Lat. People raved about the natural scenery, the forests and the waterfalls. It is said to be the honeymoon capital of Vietnam and some claim that you are not officially married unless you spend your honeymoon at Dreaming Hill. I mentally prepared myself with meditation for the eighteen hour bus ride, but the Dalai Lama himself could not have maintained inner peace. Traffic violations are nonexistent in Vietnam and the roads are a free for all. Beeping and swerving around motorbikes and driving on the wrong side of the road are the norm. They played a Michael Jackson video anthology for the first few hours which was cool since I haven't watched some of them in quite some time. Then all of Britney Spears videos that I used to think were so awesome and now can't figure out what it was I liked so much. I began to grow weary when this continued into the hours of the night and then the morning with the Backstreet Boys. The whiny, sensitive male voices were not exactly lulling me to sleep. Just when I drifted off into a slight slumber, this was blasting in through the speakers as our wake up call:
The worst part is that I haven't been able to get it out of my head since. The Hang Na "crazy house" was the highlight of this town. It was built in an organic fashion with the natural curves of trees, winding staircases, large wooden carvings of animals and cobweb shaped skylights. Think surrealism, very Salvador Dali, I am grateful for the opportunity to see it. Dreaming Hill on the other hand, turned out to be one of the lamest places ever and I pity the people who spend their honeymoon there, but these people know nothing else. Taking pictures next to brightly colored life size animals and a large dragon with water shooting out of its mouth does not turn me on, but to each his own? We had fun riding bikes and eating amazing street food but we were longing for the beach. Mui Ne. A lazy beach town all on one long road that parallels the ocean and golden sand. We stayed in a small place on the beach with a pool with our new friend from Holland, Irma that we met on the bus to Mui Ne. Eighteen dollars a night for the three of us. Picture Melrose Place with the pool in the middle, instead of apartments surrounding it, there were bungalows, but it still had the sexy people, the love triangles, the heartbreaks, the good times and add a small cafe that had great food for less than two dollars, there was something for everyone. Like I mentioned before, there is a big difference between traveling and holiday. I have been on the road for almost four months now and I have just as many challenges as I did in my real life, just different. I may never get to live in a fantasy world again so I pretend I am in a movie. I write, do the castings, I produce it and I am also the star and I like to check my fanmail in the morning.(epiphany#87 Be so strong in yourself that you never need to rely on anyone for anything, not even an email, you will only set yourself up for disappoinment) It got to the point where the amount of mail and quality of it would determine my mood and course of the day. I felt a sting when I didn't hear from close friends and family. It is my fanmail which lifts my spirits when my will is weak, it helps move me across this earth. I realize that people are busy but with iphones in the palm of their hands it is just as easy to send a quick email as it is to text. I have several bumble bees who write to me frequently so I am grateful, but I still have to wonder-where are the others that claim to have cared for me so dearly? So I got a little co dependant on hearing from people from home. The plot thickens. There was a guy in New York who I was beginning to believe was the love of my life. We kept things very private and it was working for us. We wrote back and forth daily and planned on being together when I returned to New York. We also recently traveled through three countries in Europe together recently. There was some miscommunication through emails but absolutely something that could have been worked out. Him and a very good mutual friend of ours ended up sleeping together. He was beside himself over the recent incident, as was I, and she was there to comfort him and make him feel better. What a great friend. It was also clearly premeditated and not some drunk fling. These two dipshits were so careless that I cracked the case over a few emails on the other side of the planet. I can't figure out if I am a genius or if they are that simple.(epiphany#98 intution is king) The things she tries to justify it with are really mind blowing. It's not easy to have an adult conversation with a complete imbicile. They need to get their heads out from up their asses, or more importantly-each others. I have been sabotaged indeed and had not choice but to swallow this jagged pill of deception. We agreed that if either of us met someone that we would try to be happy for the other because of course it could happen. Out of eight million people in New York City he chose this self indulgent fatty with no self control. A good cry does a body and soul good, even if it is in an internet cafe full of Asian kids playing video games. Daggers were shot through my heart, through the front and back of my body. When I was standing, I wanted to sit. When I was sitting, I wanted to stand. I wanted to scream, to curl up in a ball all day, I was hungry but when food was in front of me I had no appetite. My stomach turned with all the times I thought about the three of us together, all the things I said confiding in them, how bad I missed both of them while traveling, how long was it going on for?The only thing I was capable of was crying buckets of tears until there were no tears left. Anxiety is a horrible thing and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. You are lucky if you don't suffer from it. It feels like this inside:
I was so grateful for my bumble bees who made me get out of bed every morning and eat something. I was in paradise but it was bittersweet because I was in so much pain. I have been wearing an antique skeleton key around my neck for the past two years. It was the key to the secret garden and a knight in shining armour was going to claim it. Suddenly, I felt the key was locking something and it was suffocating me. I took it off and put it in my bag and immediately dove into the pool. When I reached the opposite end of the pool and lifted my head above the water, I saw a beautiful guy sitting there reading the Alchemist. Thick brown hair, hazel eyes, full lips, perfect teeth, great body, slightly bronzed. Later that night everyone from the guesthouse went out for dinner and drinks and I learned this guy was Dutch and going through some heartache of his own. In a nutshell, his girlfriend broke up with him a few days before in Bangkok because she had personal issues to deal with and decided that a meditation retreat would have been more suitable for her and left him on his own. Not only was he gorgeous, but smart, witty and a bit of geek.(epiphany#37 no more "cool" guys) We spent the next few days together walking on the beach, swimming in the pool, riding around on a motorbike, trekking in the sand dunes, we slept under the stars, went to listen to live music, had some amazing dinners and watched the sun set. We spoke of philosophy, politics, religion, travel, America, The Netherlands, books and movies. I was in Dutch Wonderland all over again. We made each other really happy and it was a great distraction for a short time but unfortunately we had to go our separate ways to lick our wounds and work through these things that will not just go away on thier own. I will never forget this guy for sweeping me off my feet and rescuing me from utter distress. I have not lost faith in humanity after all. The universe was merely trying to show me what I could not see for myself. At Hai Yen Guesthouse, you can check out but you can never leave......
